Hey guys, board-certified health instructor Erin Power is here to answer your questions about early dating. If you are wondering when and how to “break the news”, we’ve got strategies, tips and backups! Do you have a question you would like to ask our health coach? Leave it in the comments on the Marks Daily Apple Facebook group or above.
Who asked:
“I was primal for a year and didn’t really feel good! It was hard at first but now it comes naturally and makes me feel a lot lighter. I lost 10 pounds, which doesn’t hurt! Problem: I’m newly unmarried and on a dating app. I don’t want to stop guys with high maintenance. Do I mention primitive in my profile? Or wait until the first date? Or wait to see how things go? Help! ”
First of all, congratulations on your primal eating and living year, whoa! Wonderful how you feel light and good. Huge recognition for exploring this question and considering how eating and lifestyle play a role in dating and relationships. Feeling healthier and more confident and comfortable in one’s body can be so exciting. This creates a compelling luster that goes beyond the “purpose” indicator, such as body weight or beauty.
Not only this, with the advent of dating you can do great things. However, the issue is up front: how to navigate to the suitors to announce your initial status.
Ask and say. Or don’t do that.
Nowadays, when sharing food with someone for the first time, it is much more common for people to ask and mention their “eating identity” or preferences. While we are focusing on dating here, it also applies to new friends, acquaintances and colleagues. The point is, eating in any particular way is not uncommon these days. That said, I fully understand how the conversations that navigate around food and lifestyle can be complicated in a relationship – perhaps even more so when it comes to new dating.
The good news is, you’re coming up with an empty slate and a fresh start. As a primary health trainer, I work with many clients who are making changes and are struggling to explain their new primary ways to partners, friends and family members. If this is important to you, you may want to share this aspect of yourself with new and old acquaintances
But here’s another option: just don’t say anything. At least, not immediately. It may not be necessary.
The person you’re dating will probably not notice anything wrong with your eating habits. If you order a large donkey salad, a delicious steak, or a low-sugar cocktail at a restaurant, it won’t raise any red flags. The decision to abandon the basket of bread? No problem: avoiding or limiting bread is becoming increasingly common even in non-primary circles.
Priorities and values
Beyond that, you probably want to be with someone whose priorities and values are your own. That doesn’t mean they have to embrace the 10 basic blueprint rules (even if they do, what a catch!) It means you may want to consider whether they’re as interested in a healthier lifestyle and healthier food as you are. If they lean towards a few healthy food choices, it could be a sign that they are not the right match for you.
No matter what you do, don’t enter into a new relationship with the expectation of changing how the other person eats. Acknowledge where they are and, if it doesn’t align with an early lifestyle, decide if it’s right for you or the dealbreaker. Also know that modeling healthy foods without stress or judgment is probably the best way to get people to encourage change and try Primal.
Eating and living in a way that makes you feel your best, not high maintenance. It is one of the most important, most influential forms of self-care. Also, to support your own vitality and longevity, you are able to look better for others. Early eating is definitely working for you. It would be a shame to leave that slide to be considered “low maintenance”. Don’t give up your own values.
Early Dating Basics and Strategies
Key points briefly:
- Respect your primal-ness without feeling the need to declare it, owning it or going with the flow, along with any other important thing like saying your character’s side.
- Don’t try or expect anyone else to change.
- Determine if your potential priorities and values are aligned with your own.
I know sometimes it can seem easier to “go along” than to explain what you’re eating and why. And, to be clear, don’t think you have to explain anything! Nevertheless, leaning towards the above basic issues makes a good policy. This will probably increase the chances of finding a perfect match … and make it more permanent.
As well as the above, make it easy on yourself! Try these 3 simple tips:
1. Eat out.
If new dating means eating out, make sure you have a strategy. Free Primal and Keto Guide to Eating is a great start. Also, suggest restaurants or food trucks that have primal options that you will enjoy. Being able to order separately removes the stress of the need to eat the same thing as your partner.
2. A picnic pack.
Alternatively, offer to cook dinner or pack a picnic at home! It provides a perfect opportunity to ask about the other person’s preferences and to mention your own. This ensures that you will get delicious primary food to enjoy, no matter what the date turns out to be.
3. Find an initial date.
In addition to announcing your nutritional preferences on your online dating profile, consider places where paleo and primitive ideologies are more widespread. Find groups and events (whether online or in real life) that feature topics like keto, non-stop fasting, effective drugs, and biohacking.
Conferences like the Ketocon or Metabolic Health Summit are examples of large-scale health conferences where you will find some preliminary-aligned allies. The gym and Facebook groups are also a great starting point.
For an initial backup of navigating the dating pool while staying true to your wellness goals, I recommend hiring a coach. External responsibility is really a game changer, and we can help you solve your specific situation and complex social situation. Even working with a coach for a month or two can help you create tough strategies for staying primal when dating or hanging out with family and friends. Visit myprimalcoach.com to learn more and get started!
Did you come out as a primal when you first met someone? Have any initial dating tips to share? Let us know and drop other questions for me in the comments!
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